I have been coughing for like…forever. My days are violently interrupted by loud, uncontrollable coughing that leaves my stomach in pain and my throat sore. Coworkers, families, animals, and micro-organisms scramble for cover as I cough my insides out. Instead of going to the doctor, I decided to patiently wait it out. Weeks passed. Months passed. The damn cough still lingers. Finally, in a desperate attempt to rid of this annoying cough and to find out if it’s possible to die by prolonged coughing, I finally dragged myself to the doctor’s office after so many months. As soon as my doctor’s appointment was over, and as soon as I paid the $40 office visit, and as soon as I bought my $15 prescription and before even using it, my cough went away. What the hell.
However, my trip to the doctor’s office wasn’t all in vain. I found out that I’m only 4’ll” as opposed to the 5’ that I have been trying to convince myself. Being 4’ll, I might have a chance to apply for disability! Blue handicap plaque, here I come (maybe)!
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